Manchester-based Jasper Crawley spent years believing he would never be able to live as himself. As a child, he cried when he was made to wear dresses, burst into tears after his first short haircut because he finally recognised the person staring back at him, and spent years wondering why he felt so different from everyone around him. At 14, the pressure of hiding who he was became so overwhelming he says he felt he had no choice but to come out. Now 21 and living openly as a trans man, Jasper is sharing his story publicly for the first time through The Proud Trust’s #DeserveBetter campaign, hoping no young person grows up believing they have to hide who they are in order to survive.

Jasper Crawley, 21, is now a student at Manchester Metropolitan University. Long before he knew the word ‘transgender’, he remembers growing up in Manchester with a constant feeling that the person everyone else saw simply wasn’t him. He couldn’t explain it, but the older he became, the harder it was to ignore.

He avoided dresses whenever he could, preferred wearing his brothers’ clothes, and became increasingly distressed by the expectations people placed on him. At 10, after developing a crush on another girl, he initially assumed he must be a lesbian. It wasn’t until the age of 11, when he discovered transgender creators on YouTube, that everything finally began to make sense.

Jasper said, “I always knew something didn’t feel right, but I couldn’t explain why. It wasn’t that I wanted to become somebody else, it was that everyone else seemed to be looking at a person I didn’t recognise. Seeing other trans people for the first time made me realise I wasn’t broken and I wasn’t the only person who felt like this.”

By the age of 13, the disconnect between who he knew himself to be and how the world saw him had become overwhelming. He wore sports bras to flatten his chest, dressed in boys’ clothes whenever he could and dreaded his reflection. Then came a visit to the hairdressers that changed everything.

“I had my hair cut really short and I just burst into tears. It probably wasn’t even a good haircut, but for the first time in my life I recognised myself. It was the first time I’d looked in the mirror and thought, ‘That’s me’.”

Despite that moment of clarity, Jasper continued trying to suppress his identity. He questioned himself constantly, wondering whether he should stay silent and whether life would simply be easier if nobody ever knew. By the age of 14, he says the emotional strain had become unbearable.

“It wasn’t that I suddenly decided I was trans, it was years of feeling anxious, frightened and ashamed, trying to force myself to be somebody I wasn’t. Eventually it reached the point where I genuinely felt I either had to come out or I wasn’t going to survive. It didn’t feel brave, it felt like there wasn’t any other option.”

After coming out, Jasper asked teachers to call him by his chosen name and use he/him pronouns. Instead of simply getting on with being a teenager, he found himself fighting to have his school records changed, to use the boys’ toilets and changing rooms, and to be treated with the same dignity as everyone else, while also facing bullying from other pupils.

“School wasn’t difficult because I was trans, school was difficult because I constantly had to explain and justify who I was. You’re trying to revise for exams while also fighting for people to respect your name.”

Around the same time, he was introduced to The Proud Trust, one of the UK’s leading LGBTQ+ youth charities, where he attended one of its youth groups for the first time.

Until then, every transgender person he had ever known existed through a phone screen. Suddenly he found himself surrounded by other LGBTQ+ young people and adults who understood exactly what he was experiencing.

“That group changed my life. For the first time I met other trans people in real life, I could talk about dysphoria, wearing a binder or being anxious, and nobody looked confused because everybody already understood. For a couple of hours every week I didn’t have to protect myself, I could just be Jasper.”

Those weekly sessions also gave Jasper something he had never had before, a glimpse of his future.

“I saw older trans people who were happy, confident and just living their lives. Until then I genuinely didn’t know that future existed for me. Seeing people living openly made me believe maybe one day I could too.”

At 16, Jasper was referred to a gender identity service, only to discover he faced years on a waiting list. However the day before his 18th birthday, he finally received the phone call he had been hoping for, offering him his first appointment. After beginning testosterone treatment, Jasper underwent top surgery in January 2024.

“When everything had healed I looked at myself and thought, ‘This is how I was always supposed to look’. I love my scars because they’re part of my story. Things most people never even think about, getting dressed, looking in the mirror or going swimming, suddenly became moments of freedom instead of fear.”

Today, Jasper fears too many transgender young people are still growing up believing there’s something wrong with them. He says increasingly hostile public debate has left many feeling frightened, isolated and unsure where they belong.

“I hear from young trans people all the time who are frightened about what their future looks like. They’re growing up watching other people debate who they are, what healthcare they should be allowed to access and what they’re allowed to do with their own bodies, often without ever listening to trans people themselves. That’s an enormous weight for any young person to carry.”

Now, through The Proud Trust’s #DeserveBetter campaign, Jasper is sharing his story publicly for the first time to help other young people realise there is hope beyond the fear.

“The Proud Trust gave me something I genuinely didn’t think existed when I was younger, it gave me community, role models and a future. I can’t go back and be the person I needed when I was 14, but maybe my story can be that person for somebody else. If one young person reads this and realises they’re not broken, then telling my story will have been worth it.”

The Proud Trust says LGBTQ+ young people continue to experience disproportionately high levels of poor mental health, bullying, discrimination and social isolation. Following the Supreme Court ruling in For Women Scotland Ltd v The Scottish Ministers, the charity saw referrals increase by 171%, highlighting how quickly national events and public debate can affect young people seeking support.

Liam Swanston, Director of Development and Partnerships at The Proud Trust, said, “Jasper’s story is a powerful reminder that no young person should ever grow up believing they have to hide who they are in order to be accepted. Every LGBTQ+ young person deserves to feel safe, valued, understood and able to look towards the future with hope.

“Our #DeserveBetter campaign is about making sure LGBTQ+ young people receive the support, acceptance and opportunities they deserve all year round. Jasper’s story shows the extraordinary difference that one safe space, one supportive community and people who truly understand can make to a young person’s life.”