Dad jokes… we all know the ones; the corny one-liners that make us cringe (and sometimes die a bit inside with embarrassment) because they are so bad. And dads still want to tell them! Search trend ‘best dad jokes’ saw an increase of +5,000% in the past twelve months1!

To celebrate all the dads out there, in the run-up to Father’s Day greetings card marketplace, thortful.com tasked the UK to submit their cheesiest dad one-liners and vote for the joke they believe to be the most cringeworthy.

Having analysed the entries and votes, thortful can reveal that the corniest dad pun of all, as voted for by the nation, is (queue the cringe) … ‘What do you call it when James Bond takes a bath? Buddle 07’

The top dad jokes are as followed:

What do you call it when James Bond takes a bath? Bubble 07.
Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
How do cows stay up to date? They read the Moo-spaper.
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
Why can’t a leopard hide? He’s always spotted.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just wanted a bit more space
Why did the orange lose the race? It ran out of juice
Did you hear the rumour about butter? Well, I’m not going to go spreading it
Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired
How do astronomers organize a party? They planet
Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn’t see that well
I hated facial hair but then it grew on me
I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up. Good thymes.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
What did the policeman say to his bellybutton? You’re under a vest.
Why do people say “break a leg” when you go on stage? Because every play has a cast.
What kind of ghost has the best hearing? The eeriest.
So, does your dad often come out with the corniest one-liners? Do you believe he is worthy enough to be crowned the King of Dad Jokes? Or do you have your own set of cringy one liners? Then, head over to the Dad Jokes Index as you still have time to submit a joke!

Commenting on the nation’s most-favoured dad jokes, a spokesperson from thortful says: “At thortful, we are all about creating moments of joy for people, so we were thrilled with how many jokes were submitted to the index. It’s the second year we’ve run the Dad Joke index and it’s great to put the spotlight on the cheesiest dad humour the UK has to offer.”

Don’t worry if your dad’s not an avid user of bad jokes, you can still cast your vote on all entries and review the index for a few lols.

The Dad Joke index can be seen at: https://www.thortful.com/fathers-best-jokes