Arguably, one of the biggest myths when it comes to relationship advice is that money does not matter… In reality, both love and money influence relationships, perhaps more than we think. Wealth manager, RBC Brewin Dolphin, surveyed over 2,000 people in relationships across the UK in January 2025 on their attitudes towards their shared finances.

Charlotte Tattersall, financial planner at wealth manager RBC Brewin Dolphin said: “Not only are disagreements over money one of the biggest causes of conflict in relationships but having a partner that does not share your money mindset, and financial goals could be a huge risk to your own wealth plan.”

The research found that some couples may not be giving their shared financial situation the attention it needs:
Only 26% reported that financial compatibility was not important to them at all when choosing their relationships.
59% of men felt financial compatibility was important vs 71% of women.
When asked about the trustworthiness of their partner’s money management, only 50% of respondents said that they were very satisfied with the way their partner handled their money.
67% said that they did not have a financial plan in place for themselves if their relationship ended.

Charlotte Tattersall said: “Combining savings with a partner can make it easier to build up a bigger pot, potentially giving you greater buying power and a healthier combined financial position, but there are many ways you can protect your own finances as an individual too. As a start, it is recommended to build a savings buffer to cover three to six months of essential expenditure as an ‘emergency fund’, and consider the use of tax efficient allowances, including ISAs and pensions, as appropriate. It’s also important to consider whose name assets and savings are in, especially if you are not married or in a civil partnership, so that assets can be split as accurately as possible in the future, if needed.”

While some couples avoid money conversations, these very discussions hold the key to financial peace in a relationship. The survey showed that:
More than one in 10 couples reported that they rarely discuss their finances together.
38% said that they only discuss finances with their partner when a specific issue arises.
Women were more likely than men to have regular discussions about shared finances, with 50% admitting that they discuss finances regularly.
40% of men said they only talk about money when a specific issue arises.

Charlotte Tattersall said: “Couples need to push past uncomfortable feelings around money talk and should plan to have regular discussions about how you can both approach saving, spending, and planning for the future. You and your partner may not view finances the same way – and that’s ok. Various factors impact this such as parental influence and gender, amongst others. The way we are socialised and the environment we are raised in can influence different money priorities, investment appetite and financial confidence, perhaps more so than we realise.”

According to the research, where individuals grow up or live often shapes their attitudes toward money:
Individuals in the West Midlands place most importance on financial compatibility, followed by Londoners.
Londoners were the most likely to only discuss finances when a specific issue arises, with 46% saying that this was the case.
Those in the North-East place the least importance on financial conversations with one in 10 reporting that they never discuss finances.
Those in the East of England were more likely to contribute to their shared finances proportionately taking into consideration different earning amounts, followed by the South-East. In contrast, couples in Wales and the West Midlands were more likely to make equal financial contributions to shared finances, despite earnings.

Charlotte Tattersall said: “Economic conditions also matter – growing up or living in either a wealthier or disadvantaged area can impact how we perceive financial security and dictate our financial priorities. It is important to spend time understanding your own money mindset and that of your partner, so you can be better equipped to make informed financial decisions together.”