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Parental Alienation is still such a taboo topic, yet it’s happening in families across the country

There are very few accounts of Parental Alienation first-hand due to family court privacy, which is why it’s imperative that the author remains anonymous, so that this powerful book can explicitly detail and expose the harsh, raw realities of Parental Alienation. Anonymity for the author means he can write freely and openly about the events in his life regarding the deeply painful experience of Parental Alienation.

The author hopes to raise the issue of Parental Alienation as a problem ahead of the Awareness Day on 25th April 2022. He comments, “It tends to be something that multiplies as a divorcing couple struggle to communicate and lawyers elevate the tension – the children then get pulled around as they are used as a weapon.

“Ultimately, the family law system is amplifying many of these issues, as it did in my case. There are so many easy solutions and many of them are linked to more technology and fewer people, but turkeys don’t vote for Christmas, so change is still a long way off.”

Potential talking points for interviews & articles:

What exactly is Parental Alienation?
You describe Parental Alienation as a ‘catch-22′ – what do you mean?
Do you believe your children have suffered as a result of Parental Alienation?
Can you describe how Parental Alienation has affected your life?
Why is the Family Courts system not fit for purpose in your opinion?
Are men misrepresented post separation?
What is happening in the House of Lords currently regarding Parental Alienation being recognised within the definition of Domestic Abuse?
Is Parental Alienation related to Mental Health and/or suicide?
Do you have any advice for parents that read your book and recognise symptoms of Parental Alienation?
A freedom of information request (Feb 2020) found that 4/10 Family Court Advisors had still not undertaking the ‘mandatory’ training into parental alienation introduced by Cafcass former CEO, Sir Anthony Douglas, in 2017. Why is this not happening faster? And why is Parental Alienation still such a misunderstood issue?

Five tips for parents considering separation

1) Try to understand the root cause of your problems

2) Understand where differences exist

3) Meet with an expert to discuss the issues

4) Never involve lawyers until you are sure

5) Do not let the kids know you are seeking help

Once a relationship has been damaged it’s hard to move on without some sort of accountability and change in behaviour. Generally speaking, the root cause of the problem is never properly understood, and this makes it difficult to move forward without risking the same issues repeating through time.

As with any type of problem, medical or otherwise, it’s critical to understand the root cause before addressing the effects and the future of any relationship. As we know there are many reasons for couples to fall out of love and sometimes it’s temporary but sometimes it is permanent. To discover the root cause of any problem, it’s sensible to spend time with an accredited marriage guidance expert or family therapist – but again be careful because the wrong therapy can make things infinitely worse!

Once you have both agreed to seek help and have found a therapist you can both work with (jointly and separately) it becomes a question of time. In general, this process should take a few months and that will involve honesty and commitment from both parties for any form of success. If not the fork in the road will be reached and divorce will be the only alternative.

The key to managing this process is to keep it contained and not to involve friends and family who will invariably make things worse – much worse.

Equally, it is very important to protect the children from any tension within the family by trying to contain emotions and agreeing to only discuss the issues in private. Children are sensitive to the family dynamic and the consequences can be harmful if they become embroiled in the process.

Finally, do not seek legal advice at this time because it will reduce the chance of a successful outcome.