Matt Hancock ‘affair’: 7 Signs Your Partner Is Cheating
With newspapers full of stories on Health Secretary Matt Hancock’s alleged extra-marital affair with an aide, there will be some men and women out there today feeling paranoid that their partner could be cheating on them.
Therapist and relationship expert TJ Gibbs, the Love Coach (www.thelovecoach.co.uk) from Northampton, says there are seven signs your partner could be cheating.
She said: “The statistics of a poll on infidelity carried out by IllicitEncounters.com and Onepoll, show that 18.3% of women and 25.4% of men have cheated on their current partner at least once.”
“With the fact that more women are in the workplace than ever before, and with the rise in online profiles and downloads of dating apps, it has never been easier for either partner to access someone to flirt, meet or have an affair with.”
Here are TJ’s seven signs that could indicate a partner is cheating:
Their Whatsapp status shows them online a lot more when before they hardly used the app.
Do they cause meaningless rows so that they don’t have to go to particular events or encourage you to go to events without them?
Are they suddenly being overly nice, allowing you to watch whatever you want on TV, buying you gifts, asking if you would like to go out to your favourite restaurant – for some having an affair can make them act happier in their life, or guilt can make them try to make it up to you subconsciously.
Maybe the opposite is true and they are constantly picking fault with you or accusing you of cheating – once someone has successfully cheated undetected they start to think that if they could do it, why can’t you.
As the study shows that most affairs start in the work place, is your partner suddenly attending more working events, working away from home or having to work late into the evening doing “overtime”?
Do they change their grooming routine, suddenly start dressing sharper and trendier and take more of an interest in their appearance and hygiene.
Has their sexual appetite or interest changed, for some having an illicit affair increases their sex drive and their zest for sexual adventure, for others it can decrease it as guilt sets in.
It’s important to note the changes in your partner’s behaviour, TJ says. “It is not the activity alone that you consider but how it deviates from the normal patterns of your partner,” she said.
Dealing with the realisation a partner is cheating evokes a lot of questions, it’s often asking why it happened, and even blaming yourself for their bad behaviour. TJ says: “When infidelity is exposed, cheating is never about the other partner, it’s always about the person who is cheating. Not being honest with each other about one’s needs in a relationship can lead a partner to seek that ‘being themselves’ elsewhere even if they love you. This is not a justification but an explanation as to why indeed they may love you yet risk losing you.”
The idea of a partner cheating can be soul crushing, but TJ believes that hope is not always lost. She says: “For many an affair would be the end of their relationship however for some this could be the beginning of a more meaningful relationship where each of you can begin to be honest about what you really need rather than accessing it from someone outside the relationship.”