Despite Britain’s growing openness around sex, the reality inside UK bedrooms tells a different story. According to a new nationally representative survey from Asda Online Doctor, 41% of British adults have lied to a partner about their sexual satisfaction, exposing a widespread communication gap fuelled by insecurity, shame, and emotional distance

The research shows that 15% of UK adults feel uncomfortable discussing sexual insecurities with their partner. Meanwhile, a staggering 83% of Brits say they have at least one sexual insecurity that negatively impacts their sex life. These unspoken worries are preventing people from enjoying healthy, satisfying relationships and, in many cases, are causing emotional distance between partners.

Body image emerged as one of the leading drivers of insecurity. Over half (52%) of women say their weight makes them feel insecure during sex, while 44% admit they have avoided intimacy altogether because of concerns about body hair. For men, performance anxiety is a major issue, with 27% citing erectile dysfunction as their main insecurity and 36% saying concerns about penis size have led them to avoid sex.

These worries are not only affecting people’s willingness to be intimate but also their ability to fully connect with a partner. 62% of women and 52% of men said they have avoided sex in the past year due to low sex drive, a pattern closely linked to feelings of insecurity and shame. Even when couples are physically intimate, mental distractions often interrupt connection: over two-thirds of UK adults admit their minds have wandered during sex, with 17% saying they have thought about an ex-partner and 16% preoccupied by work or financial stress.

Technology is also adding new obstacles to intimacy. The survey found that 12% of Brits have checked their phone during sex, a sign that digital distractions are eroding the emotional focus needed for genuine connection. Meanwhile, 9% of men said they have used AI for sex advice rather than speaking to a partner, highlighting how modern habits are deepening the communication gap in relationships.

Among men, embarrassment about performance issues is preventing them from seeking support. Although over a third have struggled with erectile dysfunction, only 22% said they would seek medical advice. Just 8% of men would talk to a friend about performance problems, suggesting that feelings of shame are leaving many to struggle in silence.

Despite the challenges uncovered by the survey, there are clear routes forward. Many of the most common insecurities can be addressed through open communication, professional help and greater self-acceptance. Speaking about the findings, Dr Crystal Wyllie at Asda Online Doctor said:

“Sometimes we feel the need to lie about our pleasure or sexual experience so that we don’t feel judged. But while it’s a normal response, getting into the habit of being dishonest about our sexual habits can create emotional distance with a partner and make insecurities even worse. Open communication is key for a happy, healthy sexual relationship, so being honest about how we’re feeling is a great first step.”