From the outside, Manchester businesswoman Nicky Wake, 53, looked like she was living the dream. She ran a successful events company, lived in a beautiful home, was happily raising her teenage son, and travelled in style, sipping champagne in business class. But behind the polished surface, Nicky was silently destroying herself. She was drinking from morning to night, hiding bottles, and falling apart in private.

“I was drinking all day, every day. Sometimes I’d start before breakfast. By night, I was regularly downing three bottles of wine without blinking, sometimes more. But I still ran a business. I still got my son to school. I told myself that meant I was in control, but I was completely lost.”

Alcohol was embedded in her work routine too. Business lunches meant wine as standard, and work events and award dos were awash with alcohol.

“It was just part of the job. Midday prosecco, wine with lunch, cocktails in the evening. It was constant. No one batted an eyelid because I always got the job done. But really, I was drinking during most working days.”

It’s a story that will resonate with thousands of women, high-achieving, high-functioning, and drinking far more than they dare to admit. For Manchester resident Nicky, it took a near-total collapse she admitted she was addicted.

“I didn’t think I was an alcoholic. I just thought I was going through a rough time. I’d lost my husband, I was running a company, and I thought I was just self-medicating.”

In 2017, her husband Andy suffered a sudden and catastrophic heart attack at home, “I had to perform CPR while our son called 999. I genuinely thought he was dying in front of me. And as soon as the ambulance took him, I went straight to the kitchen and downed a full bottle of wine. I couldn’t process the shock any other way.”

Andy survived, but the damage was catastrophic. He was rushed to hospital, where he was placed in an induced coma. As doctors fought to save him, Nicky spiralled deeper into secrecy and self-destruction.

“For two weeks, I sat at his hospital bedside, smuggling vodka in a Diet Coke bottle. I was drinking constantly, at home, in taxis, even in the ward. No one noticed. I was so good at pretending. But I was completely broken inside.”

When Andy eventually woke, it was clear the brain injury had left him unable to walk, talk or even recognise Nicky. He was moved into a specialist care facility, where he would spend the next three years before dying of Covid-related complications in 2020.

“Watching him fade away like that destroyed me. Visiting the care home became unbearable. He was confused, angry, didn’t know who I was. I hated what our life had become. So I drank to both cope and escape. There was nothing stopping me. No visitors, no work events, no school run. I was topping up all day, hiding bottles behind the bins, blacking out on the sofa. I’d fall over and tell people it was vertigo. But really, I was completely pissed and couldn’t feel my legs.”

Despite this, Nicky managed to keep her business running and even launched two successful dating apps for widows and widowers, “I was just about functioning. But I was lying to everyone, including myself. My skin was grey, I was losing mobility, and I’d wake up most mornings not remembering how I got to bed. But still I thought, ‘I can’t be an alcoholic. I’ve never missed a board meeting.’”

Nicky’s tipping point came in November 2024, “I’d tried to stop on my own. Went cold turkey and ended up in A&E. I had full-blown panic attacks just trying to leave the house. One morning I looked in the mirror and thought, ‘this can’t be it’. I checked myself into a rehab facility, and started a full medical detox.”

The moment she arrived at rehab, the denial finally cracked, “They said, ‘You’re not a bad person. You’re an unwell person who needs help’. And I just burst into tears. For the first time, someone saw me. Not the businesswoman or the widow or the mum, just someone who was struggling.”

At rehab, Nicky underwent intensive therapy and was introduced to a recovery community that changed her life, “I’d never watched a film sober. Never had a first date sober. Never grieved my husband properly. All those years, I’d been skipping through my life with wine as the wallpaper.”

Now, nine months sober, Nicky has recently launched SoberLove, a dating and friendship app for people who are sober or sober-curious, “Dating when you’re in recovery is terrifying. So many first dates revolve around alcohol. I wanted to create a space for people who want real connection without the booze.”

Nicky’s also created SoberAF, an online community and support group for anyone who doesn’t connect with traditional recovery paths, “AA saves lives, but it’s not for everyone. Especially women. There’s so much shame and stigma around female addiction, particularly for women similar to me who society says ‘isn’t what an alcoholic looks like.’”

Nicky wants more women to recognise the signs before it’s too late, “If you’re Googling ‘am I drinking too much?, you already know. If you’re hiding bottles or waking up ashamed, you’re not alone. You’re not broken. But you do need help.”

Today, Nicky’s healthier, happier, and more honest than she’s ever been, “I swim every day. I walk without pain. I laugh again. My son has his mum back. And I’m finally living a life that doesn’t need to be blurred out.”